Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
