I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
