oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
