I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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