I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
