remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
