Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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