So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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