Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
