i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
