oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
