No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
