he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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