youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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