Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
