jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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