This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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