puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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