do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
