my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
