I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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