honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
