your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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