She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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