I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
