this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
