how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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