I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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