Heybabeimwearingurpanties
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
