Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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