I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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