There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You need Xanax blowdarts
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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