I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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