why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
