she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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