i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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