Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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