well I can't set my house on fire every night
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
