By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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