His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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