just come out here and I will go home with you...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
