birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
