He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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