Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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