oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
