Welp...herpes.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
