jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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