She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Never joke about your clitoris.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
