so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
