I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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