he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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